Your home will play a huge role in how happy you are, whether you are married or in any other kind of serious relationship. The success or failure of your relationship is linked to your home in many ways, so it’s important to understand these connections if you want to keep things going well with your significant other.
According to a 2012 Money Magazine survey, couples fight about money almost twice as much as they fight about sex! Money brings up a lot of emotions and different people deal with them different ways. And when a couple doesn’t see eye to eye on this crucial topic, things can go south really fast!
Unless you’re a jet setting, company buying corporate juggernaut, the biggest purchase in your life will be your home. If that investment goes sideways and money gets tight, you can quickly find yourself having fights with your better half about a lot of things.
For example, let’s say you buy a house but find out later that the payments you signed up for are just too high. Your income could have gone down, your interest rate adjusted or other costs in your life could be going up. Now you find yourself putting things on your credit card, borrowing money from friends or family, raiding your 401(k) early and so on, just to stay afloat.
This is going to lead to marital discord really fast. Because you misjudged this one purchase, your life is going to radically change and all of the hard work you put into making a home for your family is going to be flushed right down the toilet.
We all know that being truly secure isn’t possible, but we all want to feel as much security as possible. If your housing situation is in question or is the source of your money problems, you’re not going to feel secure at all.
You always want to be there and support your partner, but doing that is extremely difficult if one or both of you don’t feel good about your home. Not knowing where you will be living, what effects losing a home will have on your future finances and all of the other issues that come along with this, can stress a relationship to its breaking point
Quality of Life
Where you live greatly influences your future and the future of your family. Living in a bad neighborhood can expose you, your partner and your kids to crime, bad schools, unhealthy environmental factors (smog, chemical runoff, pollution) and much more.
While plenty of good people come out of bad neighborhoods and living situations, we want to give our families the best shot at a happy future. If you are unable to move because of financial issues or can’t sell the house you live in because of the market, the stress will lead to all kinds of problems in your relationship and life.
Even if you live in a decent neighborhood, but are forced to commute long distances to get to work, your quality of life is going to suffer. The extra time you spent in your car could be spent with your kids. The money you spend on gas could be saved to improve your finances. The stress of traffic and not being around your family will only bring problems into your relationships.
Sadly, many people in our society don’t think long term. If you don’t believe me check the hundreds of “reality” shows on TV, the latest Justin Beiber Tweet or your not so bright cousin’s Facebook status. You know, the one with a #YOLO tattoo on his neck…
If you’re going to be in a long term relationship, you need to have long term goals. And nothing can spoil that faster than a bad housing situation. Going into foreclosure, having bad credit, not being able to save for retirement, having to tap into your 401(k) could all stem from your housing problems and drastically effect how happy you will be down the road.
My grandpa used to always tell me, “Have a happy wife and you’ll have a happy life.” The more updated and less rhyming version (happy partner/happy life?) still holds true.
By eliminating the biggest thing a couple fights about, making sure you are happy and secure and planning for the future will all go a long way to making this true. Since so much of that ties back in to your living situation, make sure to be open and honest with your significant other about money, your plans and your home to ensure success in these areas.